Making life easier…one baby step at a time
by Jeanette Mesite Frem
Hi! It’s a blog…short for web-log, right? So where does one start. Where’s the story starter for blogs? The cool thing is that a blog is fluid. Stream of consciousness. It can be written by one or many. Are you a writer? Interested in doing a guest blog about a parenting topic near and dear to your heart? Interested in responding to a recent news article about parents? Let me know.
I’m still pondering the “Mom Enough” article that was published in May of this year. What the heck does that mean? Of course, it would have been at least fair if they’d done a cover article the next week asking, “Are you Dad enough?”. But no, there’s a double-standard for men and women in our society. I know a lot of moms who breastfed (myself included) their kids until there were over 2 or 3 years old and none of them nursed in this position (then again, it would be convenient if they were on a stool in the kitchen because they were helping you make dinner…). However, it really tried to put attachment parenting moms against those who don’t parent that way.
If you’re a human, you know it’s pretty normal and natural for humans to size each other up and that people tend to hang out with people like themselves. Sure, we appreciate diversity, but how often do you think “we have a lot in common” when you’re meeting a new person? That’s what draws us to our best friends, our favorite relatives (yes, I said it, we might have favorite relatives) and to our mates. Therefore, it stands to reason, that once we become parents, we’ll continue seeking out our “posse”–the people who parent in a similar manner. At least initially. I find in my many years of working with parents that eventually some parents gain confidence in their style and acceptance in other styles of parenting and our “posse” can then grow.
Grow: that’s what kids do. Grow: that’s what parents do. Yes, we’re mom enough because we’re growing and changing WITH our children. Every day we make new decisions and often they are decisions that we never thought we’d make. Anyone who has more than one child will admit that they did things differently with their second child and if they have more than two, they do things differently with each child. That’s life. Growth. Changing. Accepting.
Are you mom enough to accept yourself, grow and accept others who are also growing and changing and accepting themselves? I think so. You know it’s true: we beat ourselves up enough, that’s why it’s called Mommy Guilt. Let’s reject the media (or relatives/friends/colleagues/neighbors/friends) who try to start debates about mommyhood. Those debates exist in our heads every minute of the day. At least in mine. Am I the only one?